Does unconditional love exist? We believe it does. We believe unconditional love exists because love isn’t transactional. Love is a chemical connection to another human and something that is not easily gained or lost. I think we can all agree that there is at least one person, be it a parent, a child, or a partner, that you will love forever. Even if they hurt or disappoint you, you’ll love them. People often conflate love with relationships. They aren’t the same thing. Relat
You know those times that you feel like throwing your computer out the window because of the nonsense you read on the internet? What about when your kids are refusing to listen to a word you say? That significant other that just can’t see how obtuse they are being? Well friends… those strong emotional reactions have their roots in emotional flooding. I’m not talking about slight annoyances, but rather the overwhelm that causes us to act in an irrational manner. During these e
Why do we judge? Simply, because it helps us avoid looking inward. It’s an ego defense mechanism and is often deeply rooted in shame. We judge people because we have unconscious beliefs about their actions. We see those actions as shameful, naughty, bad, etc. Once we are aware of why we are judging, we can start to separate ourselves from the judging. This isn’t saying you’ll ever escape judging others or escaped being judged; it is saying that we can start operating from our
How many of you have been in a relationship (or are currently in one) where your partner didn’t want you to exercise, eat a certain way, or accomplish goals that you have? It’s a red flag. It indicates that your partner is insecure about you gaining self-confidence and becoming less codependent on them. It’s not a conscious action, but an unconscious belief. Now, obviously we need to be realistic about setting goals, so some inquiry about why and how you have come to set a ce
Ever pondered how strong your relationship is? Will it crack with a minor slight? Well, check this, you can directly assess the strength of your relationship with this one question: How safe do you feel opening up to your partner? It’s a pretty important question because how safe you feel opening up to your partner and expressing your true authentic self is a great indicator of how strong your relationship is. Those fears we have about being authentic — fears of rejection, st
The obesity paradox is a fallacy born of poor research methodology. It all started with Katherine Flegal from the CDC who published research showing that the lowest mortality rates were not seen in Americans at a normal body weight, but in those who were overweight. This has been used as justification by many that being overweight or obese. Being modestly obese was protective against dying compared to being at a normal body weight. But check this; those observations don’t hol
We’ve all worn masks to hide our true selves. It’s an evolutionary drive to desire belonging to groups and tribes, so it’s perfectly normal to try and “fake it” as a means of earning acceptance by the masses. That’s why many are shocked when someone steps outside of this paradigm and wears their true self exposed. But what exactly is the best option of navigating life? Manipulating others via acting in a way they want you to, or just doing you and letting your life long suppo
Everyone has an ability to “mentalize”, meaning the ability to understand the mental state, of oneself or others, that underlies overt behaviors. When we lose our shit on someone, we lose our metalizing ability, and we start to operate in black-and-white thinking. It’s completely normal, but it greatly impairs your ability to reason and problem-solve. You start thinking that your opinion and subjective experience is a correct interpretation of reality, rather than appreciatin
Certain bacteria in the intestines produce endotoxins like 𝘭𝘪𝘱𝘰𝘱𝘰𝘭𝘺𝘴𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘴, which can be absorbed into circulation and cause a state of 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘵𝘰𝘹𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘢 that leads to low-grade inflammation throughout the body. One reason the modern Western diet high in starches and fat causes so much health problems is because the 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗵𝗲𝘀 𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗼𝘁𝗼𝘅𝗶𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝘁𝘀 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗲 𝗶𝘁�
𝐋𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐲 Labeling theory states that 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘺 and 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘴 is influenced by the terms used to describe or classify them. It’s in the same social bubble as 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐲 and 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐨𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠. If you give yourself or other labels, then you and others start to 𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘭𝘺 mold into those labels. For example, victimizing yourself! When you
Trauma is a 𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩, and we all just wish it would go away. It’s a subject that many of us don’t fully understand which leads to misappropriate labeling and expression of our behaviors. Once we understand what and how it’s impacting our lives, we can start to untangle it from our habits. Trauma is stored in our implicit memory, or subconscious memory, where it is able to show up in our thoughts and life without us consciously knowing it. This is different from our expl
People often misinterpret my confidence as arrogance. My selfies as attention seeking. My style as too bold. This doesn't stop me from being me. Why? Do I not care about others? Absolutely not the case at all. I love all people. I just don't believe their ideas and value system should direct my behavior. I would feel resentful towards them and it wouldn't be their fault whatsoever. It's MY choice to change to fit their mold. I authentically love who I am. I don't feel I need
You probably have impulse control issues. You probably crave all the foods that keep you from your goal body. You probably do things that make you think you have no control. To what extent you do these things… well that varies from person to person. Let’s discuss some of our brain structures and how they play into our uncontrollable desires and our habit formation. As we have evolved, so have our brain structures. We have a little part of our brain called the primitive brain
As requested here — I am laying out my routines for everyone.
I follow a strict routine for 99% of my mornings and nights. Yes, I have been called a robot my entire life. I’m okay with this.
Why do I do this and recommend most of my clients adopt similar behaviors?
Time management and intentions.
It's not to be OCD or eccentric. There is a method to my madness.
I want to reduce friction and set my intentions for the day. I do this simply so I can focus on what is a
I’m sure you all have heard the “everything in moderation” advice regurgitated by all the gurus — and most likely your grandmother. But just because everyone spouts it off — doesn't’ mean it’s true, or even a helpful use of words. It does appear on the surface to be wise advice because anything extreme is crazy, right? But get this — this entire concept could be the very reason you can’t maintain or lose weight. Moderation is an interesting idea in theory. The amount of peopl
The first time I heard somebody say that, I didn’t like the sound of it one bit. What was this dumbfuckery? What else could I be? I had taken for granted that the little voice in my head was the central “me”. I thought everything was happening to that voice. Do I sound cray yet? Stay with me and I’ll break it down. I see quite l clear now that life is nothing but fleeting emotions, passing experiences — and my thoughts are just one more category of things I experience that is
We all make mistakes, have struggles and do stupid shit occasionally. We are NOT our fuck ups. We are NOT our struggles. We are NOT our bad decisions. If you’re reading this — you are alive, and can learn from all of these experiences no matter how fucked they were. Life is a series of unfortunate events — each one of which makes us wiser, and accumulate data to better navigate the future. For these experiences develop character. We must learn that the setbacks in life and gr
It is human nature to judge — this my friends is an undeniable fact. We do this to gauge our own behaviors, assign value, and determine our social status. It's quite the evolutionary advantage to be able to identify humans who are fierce, strong, and healthy. This helps us decide which are the best mates to procreate with. So judgments are indeed a fact of a normal human experience. We have these deep instinctual drives but we have evolved past the need to just survive and ma