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Why People Offend Us: Spoiler, They Don't

May 26, 2021
2 min

Why People Offend Us: Spoiler, They Don't

The key point about being offended: it’s exclusively a function of your inner world and has nothing to do with the person offending you. People say and do infinitely many things, but only some individuals will find each of those things offensive. The issue isn’t the offender, the issue is the offended. For example, we both come from a background of disordered eating and body dysmorphia that leads us to take offense to being called fat. Even when we know that we are not fat, i

Ten Truisms I Learned In Thirty Six Years

Mar 21, 2021
5 min

Ten Truisms I Learned In Thirty Six Years

THREE SIX TODAY! I thought I’d share some epiphanies/learning curves/musings. These truisms have allowed me to live with radical acceptance of all the ups and downs life inevitably throws at all of us. 1.) Develop a consistent philosophy of life. Maintain cognitive consistency. Cognitive consistency can be used to predict and explain the various outcomes; and thus can be fairly predictive of “drama” or cognitive dissonance in ones life. Congruency in thoughts, beliefs, ideolo

How To Know When A Breakup Is Inevitable

Feb 1, 2021
2 min

How To Know When A Breakup Is Inevitable

The Gottman Institute has conducted research looking at what relationship variables are predictive of a future breakup. We want to talk about them because awareness gives you an opportunity to remedy them. However, keep in mind that the more you have, the less likely it is that you can repair your relationship. Your memories of the relationship are mostly negative. This doesn’t apply if you have a lot of both positive and negative memories, but instead applies to when you sit

It Is Your Responsibility To Communicate Boundaries

Jan 28, 2021
1 min

It Is Your Responsibility To Communicate Boundaries

We all have boundaries, but sometimes we forget to communicate them. When that happens, we can feel overwhelmed when those boundaries are crossed. But you can’t really expect others to know what your boundaries were if you never told them! Here are four common boundaries many people forget to establish: You let others vent about their problems without telling them you can’t handle the emotional burden. You never say no. It can be hard for those of you who are people pleasers,

Curse Of Knowledge

Jan 27, 2021
2 min

Curse Of Knowledge

Let’s talk about cognitive biases: CURSE OF KNOWLEDGE The curse of knowledge is a cognitive bias that describes the tendency to overestimate the intelligence of others on a given topic, leading to a mismatch between your communication style and assumptions with reality. Essentially, this entails that those who poses more knowledge in a domain often struggle to take this difference of into account when communicating. This is a very common bias in academia, particularly areas w

Belief Bias

Jan 18, 2021
2 min

Belief Bias

Let’s talk about cognitive biases: BELIEF BIAS The belief bias describes the tendency to evaluate the strength of an argument by virtue of how believable the conclusion is (to you). It’s a form of confirmation bias because conclusions that you find believable tend to be those that support your preexisting beliefs. For example, someone could say “pelicans are birds, and all birds fly. Therefore, pelicans fly.” Seems to make sense, right? We know that birds tend to fly, so the

How To Stop Being So Offended

Jan 17, 2021
2 min

How To Stop Being So Offended

Are you easily offended?⁣ ⁣ Many humans will go through their life with a relentless feeling of offense by what someone else 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮. ⁣ ⁣ But get this... ⁣ ⁣ No one offends you. ⁣ ⁣ It's your 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 of 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵, and 𝘩𝘰𝘸 others 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 act that do. ⁣ ⁣ No shame here as most people are easily offended before they dig deep and do the “work”. Doing the work requires us to look at our unhelpful behaviors with a microscope and decide determini

Why Are People So Easily Offended?

Jan 17, 2021
2 min

Why Are People So Easily Offended?

People losing their shit over jokes about the lunacy of this week need to 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘴. ⁣ ⁣ Taking everything literal, personally, and being a fucking emotional wreck—is a repellent for most people. Humor and what people find amusing says a lot about their life outlook, attitude, and unique life perspectives. It also will show you their weak spots in their psyche. ⁣ ⁣ 𝗢𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗱? You have an inferiority complex and think the world needs to operate aro

How Do We Tolerate Others When They Are Being Impossible?

Jan 17, 2021
2 min

How Do We Tolerate Others When They Are Being Impossible?

Accepting and respecting someone’s ideas without agreeing with them is tolerance. Do you know what happens when you dehumanize someone in their “truth”? Puts them in instant defense mode and the remainder of your message falls on deaf ears. Even if their position is absurd and based on incomplete information—lashing out only serves to separate and continue mass ignorance. Remember; tolerance applies to how we treat people we disagree with—not how we treat ideas we think are f

Faulty Beliefs Can Ruin Your Life: Here's How To Fix Them

Jan 17, 2021
3 min

Faulty Beliefs Can Ruin Your Life: Here's How To Fix Them

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗳𝘀⁣ ⁣ 𝘉𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘧𝘴 are 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 about how life is, should be, or could be codified into rules.⁣ ⁣ ⁣ In short, a belief is an assumed truth; not to be confused with actual objective truths. They become self imposed rules that filter and shape your thinking about what is and isn’t possible. They have little to do with actual truth. ⁣ ⁣ The primary issue with having these strong beliefs is that over time they turn into 𝘢𝘶𝘵�

Life Is A Subjective Experience That Can Not Be Denied Or Negotiated

Jan 17, 2021
2 min

Life Is A Subjective Experience That Can Not Be Denied Or Negotiated

What most of us refer to as objective data is subjective. That matrix shit y’all. Stay with me... Life is a subjective experience and that cannot be denied or negotiated. I know that every experience I have is filtered through my own personal unsharable viewpoint. Hey biases, there you are. Being aware of this also helps me to keep my damn ego in check when my brain wants me to believe I have *special* knowledge. There can be no peer reviews of my direct experience, no real c

Anchoring Bias

Jan 12, 2021
2 min

Anchoring Bias

Let’s talk about cognitive biases: ANCHORING Anchoring is the tendency to rely too heavily on one piece of information when making decisions, usually the first piece of information you came across. Think of first impressions, you tend to use the data you collect from a first impression to judge the person later on. If the person was rude to you initially, you’ll tend to anchor to that information and think the person is rude at future interactions even if they demonstrate tha

Five Topics That Need To Be Discussed While Vetting Potential Partners

Jan 11, 2021
2 min

Five Topics That Need To Be Discussed While Vetting Potential Partners

Relationships take work, there’s no getting around that. A good way to decide if a relationship is worth it, or to vet someone before committing—is to pay attention to and talk about these five potential relationship mismatches. First, what are your dreams and long-term goals? It’s important that both you and your partner are on the same page because larger goals take a lot of little actions and require a healthy support system. Where do you want to be in 5-10 years? This isn

The Societal Parasite: Cancel Culture

Jan 7, 2021
3 min

The Societal Parasite: Cancel Culture

Let’s talk about cancel culture! Cancel culture is using antisocial and abusive behaviors to silence people who disagree with some narrative. It plays out in several ways: contacting employers, doxxing accounts, shaming, attacking one’s character instead of their ideas, and trying to destroy someone’s life. This is incredibly dangerous territory for two primary reasons: First, it’s abuse that people can’t escape. It’s abusing them into a corner with nowhere to go. You strip t

Increasing Sex Drive For Women

Jan 4, 2021
3 min

Increasing Sex Drive For Women

We recently got a question on Facebook about how to increase sexual desire and libido in women. Sex is nothing to be shameful about despite what much of society tells you; and this is a common question that many are terrified to ask, but it can lead to an remarkable difference in the quality of your life. To start, let’s get this out of the way: women are complex and there isn’t a simple answer. Sex drive or lack thereof (hypoactive sexual desire disorder) is a combination of

Should We Destroy Our Ego?

Jan 1, 2021
2 min

Should We Destroy Our Ego?

The ego identity is a tricky concept for many to grasp. Should we kill it? Is the ego truly our enemy? Well, not unless we want to lose all sense of self. As humans we have a nasty tendency of clinging to black and white thinking, which is an incomplete understanding of who we are as complete beings. There are a lot of grey and flexible areas within the constructs of our minds. The ego is our concept of self. It isn’t who we actually are, it is who we think we are. It develop

Toxic Femininity

Dec 17, 2020
2 min

Toxic Femininity

Many of you are probably familiar with the term “toxic masculinity”, which refers to the stereotypical outwardly misogynistic male. This is the guy who treats women as lesser beings and doesn’t hide it. It’s a real thing, but it’s far more rare than people think. Today, the term is used as a pejorative to dismiss any man who happens to disagree with a woman, similar to claiming that a man is “mansplaining” for simply expressing an opinion. Western men, particularly those who

How Do You Get Your Friends To Eat Healthier?

Nov 9, 2020
1 min

How Do You Get Your Friends To Eat Healthier?

How do you help friends who have done every fad diet in existence, yo-yoed, and glaze over when you try to explain anything to them about the science of fat loss? Well the answer is relatively simple… Don’t stress! Why? You can’t control others. Focus on controlling yourself and your environment. Focus on setting an example. If they join you for dinner, don’t change what you cook. They can pick and choose what to eat, but you need to stick with your beliefs on what’s best. If

How To Give Advice

Sep 28, 2020
2 min

How To Give Advice

I have a question for everyone… How do you respond to people that confide in you or ask for life advice? Tell them exactly what you would do, correct? But check this… If you are in a position of giving advice, don’t tell them what you would want to hear. Many people give advice as if they are talking to past versions of themselves, but other people are not you. Check your ego. You don’t always know what’s best for someone else unique life experience. Instead, try to ask open-

Emotional Flooding & How It Wrecks Your Ability To Communicate

Sep 16, 2020
2 min

Emotional Flooding & How It Wrecks Your Ability To Communicate

You know those times that you feel like throwing your computer out the window because of the nonsense you read on the internet? What about when your kids are refusing to listen to a word you say? That significant other that just can’t see how obtuse they are being? Well friends… those strong emotional reactions have their roots in emotional flooding. I’m not talking about slight annoyances, but rather the overwhelm that causes us to act in an irrational manner. During these e

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