Let’s talk about hindsight 20-20. It’s a saying that refers to the notion that you always have greater perspective when looking at past events. We want to talk about this because we all make choices, decisions, and mistakes throughout our life. No one is free from this. Is it fair to let those past choices or mistakes impact your future? That’s a loaded question, and there’s obviously context involved. But generally speaking, we want to just encourage you to not cast judgemen

Does unconditional love exist? We believe it does. We believe unconditional love exists because love isn’t transactional. Love is a chemical connection to another human and something that is not easily gained or lost. I think we can all agree that there is at least one person, be it a parent, a child, or a partner, that you will love forever. Even if they hurt or disappoint you, you’ll love them. People often conflate love with relationships. They aren’t the same thing. Relat

You know those times that you feel like throwing your computer out the window because of the nonsense you read on the internet? What about when your kids are refusing to listen to a word you say? That significant other that just can’t see how obtuse they are being? Well friends… those strong emotional reactions have their roots in emotional flooding. I’m not talking about slight annoyances, but rather the overwhelm that causes us to act in an irrational manner. During these e

Why do we judge? Simply, because it helps us avoid looking inward. It’s an ego defense mechanism and is often deeply rooted in shame. We judge people because we have unconscious beliefs about their actions. We see those actions as shameful, naughty, bad, etc. Once we are aware of why we are judging, we can start to separate ourselves from the judging. This isn’t saying you’ll ever escape judging others or escaped being judged; it is saying that we can start operating from our

How many of you have been in a relationship (or are currently in one) where your partner didn’t want you to exercise, eat a certain way, or accomplish goals that you have? It’s a red flag. It indicates that your partner is insecure about you gaining self-confidence and becoming less codependent on them. It’s not a conscious action, but an unconscious belief. Now, obviously we need to be realistic about setting goals, so some inquiry about why and how you have come to set a ce

Although there is no consensus on what criteria define metabolic health, people who seem pretty healthy despite being obese are considered to have what’s called “metabolically healthy obesity” (MHO). Commonly, these people are obese without the insulin resistance, low-grade inflammation, elevated blood lipids, or high levels of visceral fat. This state is often used to facilitate the belief that obesity isn’t harmful to one’s health. Yet, those with MHO are still at an increa

Ever pondered how strong your relationship is? Will it crack with a minor slight? Well, check this, you can directly assess the strength of your relationship with this one question: How safe do you feel opening up to your partner? It’s a pretty important question because how safe you feel opening up to your partner and expressing your true authentic self is a great indicator of how strong your relationship is. Those fears we have about being authentic — fears of rejection, st

The obesity paradox is a fallacy born of poor research methodology. It all started with Katherine Flegal from the CDC who published research showing that the lowest mortality rates were not seen in Americans at a normal body weight, but in those who were overweight. This has been used as justification by many that being overweight or obese. Being modestly obese was protective against dying compared to being at a normal body weight. But check this; those observations don’t hol

We’ve all worn masks to hide our true selves. It’s an evolutionary drive to desire belonging to groups and tribes, so it’s perfectly normal to try and “fake it” as a means of earning acceptance by the masses. That’s why many are shocked when someone steps outside of this paradigm and wears their true self exposed. But what exactly is the best option of navigating life? Manipulating others via acting in a way they want you to, or just doing you and letting your life long suppo

Everyone has an ability to “mentalize”, meaning the ability to understand the mental state, of oneself or others, that underlies overt behaviors. When we lose our shit on someone, we lose our metalizing ability, and we start to operate in black-and-white thinking. It’s completely normal, but it greatly impairs your ability to reason and problem-solve. You start thinking that your opinion and subjective experience is a correct interpretation of reality, rather than appreciatin

In healthy relationships communication is key. When we communicate our perspective, needs and desires — your partner can do their part in helping you feel seen and heard. Results of open communication is sporadic conflict. Conflict is an inevitable aspect of life, especially with those whom you love deeply, as those are the ones we feel most comfortable with being our raw selves. While conflict is absolutely part of a normal healthy relationship, it can also be a weak spot in

𝐋𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐲⁣ ⁣ Labeling theory states that 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘺 and 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘴 is influenced by the terms used to describe or classify them.⁣ ⁣ It’s in the same social bubble as 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐲 and 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐨𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠.⁣ ⁣ If you give yourself or other labels, then you and others start to 𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘭𝘺 mold into those labels.⁣ ⁣ For example, victimizing yourself! When you

𝗪𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘂𝗺𝗮; 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝗳 𝘂𝘀.⁣ ⁣ But, how many of you have pulled away from friends, family, or loved ones thinking that you need to be on your own to 𝘧𝘪𝘹 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘵?⁣ ⁣ How many of you have decided that you can’t put yourself out there and be with another human until you are 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵?⁣ ⁣ 𝗡𝗲𝘄𝘀 𝗳𝗹𝗮𝘀𝗵! Becoming intimately familiar with our own and our 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘯𝘦𝘳’𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘷𝘶𝘭𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴 is a profound gift and

Trauma is a 𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩, and we all just wish it would go away. It’s a subject that many of us don’t fully understand which leads to misappropriate labeling and expression of our behaviors. Once we understand what and how it’s impacting our lives, we can start to untangle it from our habits. ⁣ ⁣ Trauma is stored in our implicit memory, or subconscious memory, where it is able to show up in our thoughts and life without us consciously knowing it. This is different from our expl

You probably have impulse control issues. You probably crave all the foods that keep you from your goal body. You probably do things that make you think you have no control. To what extent you do these things… well that varies from person to person. Let’s discuss some of our brain structures and how they play into our uncontrollable desires and our habit formation. As we have evolved, so have our brain structures. We have a little part of our brain called the primitive brain