Updated: Feb 9, 2020
The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom...You never know what is enough until you know what is more than enough.
Moderation is a bitch for some. I tend to operate best on extremes and have been this way since I was a little.
I’m most definitely an all or nothing type with everything:
I credit this personality trait to my ‘wisdom’ in life. I only know what I know — because I know what is too much, and I have pushed the limits with most things I find pleasurable. I’ve learned hard lessons. But when I learn them, I can guarantee I’ve obsessed a great deal on every cost associated.
Know thyself and know thy weaknesses. Sometimes perusing something excessively is so fucking worth it. Sometimes it’s not. And sometimes what was once ok is no longer serving you. Remember everything is a cost benefit analysis and you get to be the judge here. Just don’t delude yourself in a cloud of denial to justify your excess under false premises. Accept that you’re pushing boundaries and be honest with yourself.
Extremes are a form of black and white dichotomous thinking. This is a cognitive distortion. We all have them. I trend towards this one frequently. It’s hard wired in me. Problem is when we deny these aspects of ourselves we get twisted up in false realities.
A cognitive distortion is an automatic way of habitually interpreting a situation that causes us to not consider other perceptions or realities.
When we overtly rely on cognitive distortions, with the absence of self awareness — we usually interpret events in such a way that fuels emotions such as anxiety, depression, or anger.
Example: You are either a successful boss babe or a lazy failure. Your performance was totally uhhmayzing or totally fucked. If you are not perfect, then you are a nobody.
This binary way of thinking does not account for shades of gray, and can be responsible for a great deal of ANTs .
I discuss how to address those pesky ANTs in this blog post.
How to spot your sticking points when deep in a denial loop:
It’s only when you’re lying to yourself, or hating some aspect of yourself — that you will get an emotional charge from someone else’s behaviors.
This is money. Pay attention here. If you react emotionally ask yourself why? And be honest with yourself. Here is a book that is phenomenal at teaching you to spot your projections onto others.
Comment over here.