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Owning Your Confidence

Updated: Oct 16, 2020

People often misinterpret my confidence as arrogance. My selfies as attention seeking. My style as too bold. This doesn't stop me from being me.


Do I not care about others? Absolutely not the case at all. I love all people. I just don't believe their ideas and value system should direct my behavior. I would feel resentful towards them and it wouldn't be their fault whatsoever. It's MY choice to change to fit their mold.

I authentically love who I am. I don't feel I need others to validate my existence. I am me.

Unapologetically flawed.

If you love me, I love you right back. If you dislike me, I'm ok with that too; do your thing baby and I'll send you love. ​

I haven’t always been this way.

There was this looming idea when I was younger that I would come off as arrogant and full of myself. I was taught to play small. We all are.

There is a big difference between being confident and being arrogant my friends.

Arrogance implies a sense of entitlement—a superiority complex that is rooted in a idea that you are somehow better than those around you.

Not here for that. At all. But knowing that you are fucking adorable, amazing, and worthy of every good thing that happens to you, and strong enough to handle everything thrown at you—that is confidence.

Subverting and rejecting expected behaviors can be positive. Taking charge of yourself, recognizing your strengths, and being confident enough to say I'm feeling myself are not negative attributes.

Yet it has almost been drilled into us to be self deprecating, to refute compliments, and to reject praise for fear of coming across as arrogant.

I learned young that people don’t like people who portray genuine confidence. Which creates an unspoken shame around being the best version of yourself.

Pretend that you’re a little more fucked up than others so they don’t feel bad. So we all walk around with this amazing potential and we all pretend we don’t have it. We all feel as if we have to justify our greatness to others when we are talking about our lives.

By playing small and denying your gifts you help no one. You being amazing does nothing to harm anyone else. It doesn’t take anything from their self worth to own your potential. Being a bright beacon of hope in this dark world is fucking magic.

So next time you feel like playing small and blending in; that’s exactly when you speak up and SHINE BRIGHT. Yeah, it’s hard. And some people won’t like it—but guess what? They don’t have to.

Confidence is about owning your light. Being yourself and liking who that person is. It’s laughing at your own jokes because you know you're funny. It is checking yourself out because your ass looks spankable. It is handing out compliments because you want other humans to realize that they too are phenomenal humans—and doing so without wanting anything back because validation from others is unneeded.

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