We all get wrapped up in the moment at times, and it’s not always a bad thing. However, it does reduce our ability to objectively assess what is actually occurring in our lives. In this video, we want to talk about five relatively common cognitive distortions that we all tend to fall for at one time or another and how we can change our thoughts to overcome them. Another way to look at this is how to start acting from your higher self rather than your ego.
First, you think peoples’ behavior expresses how they feel about you. In reality, peoples’ behavior is an expression of their inner world and has nothing to do with you. For example, when individuals are upset at themselves for a perceived failure, they will often project it onto others around them. The issue isn’t with the other people though, the issue is something in their internal world (self-disappointment). If you are able to appreciate that these behaviors are a reflection of their inner world rather than having anything to do with you, then that allows you to not only avoid getting wrapped up in their emotions, but also show them compassion that may be what they need to feel better.
Second, you think another’s boundaries are selfish or offensive. The reality is that everyone has and needs boundaries to protect their energy. You don’t get to decide what others can tolerate; you can’t force your ideas and energy onto others. Everyone has their own reasons for setting boundaries where they do, so respect them, just as you’d like others to respect the boundaries you put up.
Third, you complain or shut down when things don’t go your way. Instead, try looking for the silver linings. This is easier said than done, but it’s also incredibly simple. We are drawn to the negatives in life, so one of the most powerful things we can do is train ourselves to not overlook the positives and remains optimistically realistic in less than ideal situations.
Fourth, not respecting that other people have different opinions and that those who disagree with your worldview are dumb or uninformed. Very few things are known to be absolute truths, and infinitely many things are true matters of opinion. Some opinions are more informed than others, but ultimately you shouldn’t dismiss someone simply because they think differently than you. Take religion, for example. It’s likely something that evolved over time to provide explanations to the unexplainable. No one religion is any more truthful than another, so if someone believes in something different from you, that doesn’t make them dumb, it means that they look at things differently from you.
Fifth and lastly, you get your worth from external validation rather than internal validation. You shouldn’t need other people to tell you what you do good in order to feel loved, that should come from within. This is not saying that we don’t enjoy external appreciation and love, but rather that we wouldn’t crumble without it. Think of external praise like icing on your internal-validation cake, rather than being the cake itself.
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