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Expressing Vulnerability Amidst A Conflict ⁣

Updated: Apr 1, 2020

It’s really easy for conflicts to intensify and spiral out of control; for us to become focused on being right and them being wrong; for us to say and do things that bring disconnection.⁣

𝘖𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘴, and when we become triggered they enter into their evolutionary fight-or-flight response that causes us to become defensive and excited. ⁣

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗼 𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗼𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗰𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝘃𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆. ⁣

This will enable the other party to see that you’re not a threat — and they can engage in a meaningful discussion, where they don’t look at you like a monster that needs to be conquered. ⁣

𝗪𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝘃𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆: ⁣

  • I can see why you feel that way.⁣

  • That really hurt me, can you please express yourself differently.⁣

  • I’m not sure how right about this I am; help me understand your position.⁣

  • What you’re saying makes a lot of sense.⁣

  • I know we aren’t in agreement right now, but I’m on your team.⁣

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