It’s really easy for conflicts to intensify and spiral out of control; for us to become focused on being right and them being wrong; for us to say and do things that bring disconnection.
𝘖𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘴, and when we become triggered they enter into their evolutionary fight-or-flight response that causes us to become defensive and excited.
𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗼 𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗼𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗰𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝘃𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆.
This will enable the other party to see that you’re not a threat — and they can engage in a meaningful discussion, where they don’t look at you like a monster that needs to be conquered.
𝗪𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝘃𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆:
I can see why you feel that way.
That really hurt me, can you please express yourself differently.
I’m not sure how right about this I am; help me understand your position.
What you’re saying makes a lot of sense.
I know we aren’t in agreement right now, but I’m on your team.
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