If you are truly monogamous, you can’t check out other people.
How does that statement make you feel? We came across that on Twitter and just had to do a video on it because it’s absurd.
Let’s take it to the extreme: cheating would be watching a movie with your spouse because of the attractive actors and actresses. Surely this illustrates how ridiculous this view of monogamy is.
Appreciating beauty and being attracted to other humans is normal and an innate biological aspect of being human. You can’t shut those things down. If you say you don’t engage you’re lying, or suppressing a natural desire which leads to unintended shame when it does happen… because it will.
But check this; there’s a difference between recognizing these feelings and acting on them.
Now, if you find yourself jealous of others when you partner appreciates their beauty, that’s normal too! It’s actually a good sign because it indicates that you believe your spouse holds value and that you are afraid to lose them to another. Yet, you can feel these feelings and appreciate them without acting on them. Much in the same way we can appreciate beauty in another without cheating.
Once you act on your feelings, it becomes possessiveness over the other person, and that’s a red flag.
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