It’s completely normal to feel dissatisfied with life when you make a mistake. That entire “you fucking idiot” mantra that’s been playing in your head since you were an adolescent. It’s incessant and predictable.
One of the most common reactions when we mis-step in life is to hyper-focus on what you did wrong.
Many people get into the habit of hammering down on the failure, catastrophize, and use black-and-white thinking as a way to assure themselves they have cognitive control over an unchangeable variable.
But check this; this is a recipe for negativity loops and low self-esteem.
Here’s what to do: first acceptance that you did mis-step; next, you can reframe the way you look at things and retrain the brain in a more self-compassionate way.
Talk to yourself like a child. Seriously. Would you talk to a child who makes a mistake in the way you are talking to yourself? Probably not, because it’s not compassionate.
Everyone makes mistakes. This is an inevitable fact of life. Even your neighborhood perfectionist fails consistently. The thing that sets the mentally healthy apart from the struggling, is focusing more-so on the lesson found within the mistake. Ask yourself what can you learn from this?
Remember, it’ll take time to undo these negative habit loops. We are hardwired for the negativity bias and it takes conscious effort to train the brain out of this defeating mental habit.
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