𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬?
𝘈𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘦 — who tends to swing from reckless to zen as fuck, depending on the total load of stress? Do you tend to fall into a pattern of judgment and shame cycles, instead of analyzing behaviors objectively?
𝗪𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞? Exercise? Use substances like alcohol? Eating? Hurting yourself?
Do you cast judgement on others who cope with different methods from you? Many do... This is more of a questions beckoning reflection rather than judgment.
Judging others, or yourself for having subpar coping mechanisms in life, is far from a productive use of time. We all judge others; it’s completely normal. But, it’s not always warranted.
𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐥𝐞𝐬 — it’s not our place to judge them for their choices, especially since they often stem from 𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘮𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 set during childhood and adolescence. Familial dynamics and generational pain patterns, as hard as we attempt to fight them, like to show up when we are under extreme stress.
Instead of casting judgement on yourself and others —> shift to that of showing 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧.
You can delude yourself all you want by thinking that using exercise to cope is better than drinking, or becoming a workaholic, or binge eating, but they are all fundamentally the same.
They are all methods to reduce the internal pain you feel when something stresses or saddens you. Sure, some can lead to harsh consequences, while others are more benign, but make no mistake; 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 (𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞) 𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐝. It does nothing to heal or manage the stress at a fundamental level.
I have previously wrote a blog on this topic and gave some tips on redirecting these behaviors. You can find it here.
Comment over here.