Placing blame on another human is a damn sure sign that we are unable, or unwilling to look at our own guilt based responses.
I realize this isn’t fun to hear. But alas the truth is never easy to hear.
Someone else’s actions, distaste, and opinions of who you are as a human, has nothing to do with reality.
Our ego works in a sneaky little way to keep us in judgements, hate, and attacks. Your ego works damn hard to deny your “sins”, guilts, insecurities, and fears. It will project this onto others constantly if you allow it to and it manifests as blame.
Examples:
You look at your friends relationship and automatically think, “that will never last.”
You are relentlessly thinking, “I need to make sacrifices to prove my love.”
You see your friends promotion as just a strike of good luck and “they will fuck it up soon.”
You observe your friend quitting their 9-5 job to pursue self employment, and you automatically think, “this will never work, they are making a huge mistake giving up their security.”
You place blame on another human for making you "feel" a certain way.
But get this friends; the ego uses judgments and predictions as fault finders.
The ego projects the terrible feelings of our own faults to protect ourselves and our sanity. So sweet of our well designed brain… Right? Ya, not so much. It keeps us stuck in a dream world unable to assess why shit keeps going sideway in our own lives.
Focusing and placing blame outside of ourselves is an unhelpful ego defense mechanism.
We often make predictions about others lives that can be used as mirrors of our own insecurities.
The way out of this trap is RESPONDING AND NOT REACTING. Observing our thoughts, judgments, and blame placing with curiosity — rather than as facts that are indisputable. This right here is the first step at retraining the brain.
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