The Infamous Dirty Word: Narcissist
Updated: Apr 1, 2020
Narcissism is basically the state of being egotistical, self-focused, and vain. 𝘙𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘩 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘴𝘬 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘢 𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘶𝘱 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺. That’s because they are proud of themselves. You can ask them directly because they don’t see narcissism as a negative quality — they believe they are superior to other people and are fine with saying that publicly. What many people don’t realize is that true narcissism is a deep rooted defense mechanism against feelings of inferiority. The person portrays a mask of arrogant superiority in an attempt to convince everyone that they are a 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘴𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘧𝘭𝘢𝘬𝘦, but, inside, the person feels very insecure about their self-worth. This makes the person hypersensitive to minor slights that someone with healthy narcissism would not even notice. Someone with an unhealthy level of narcissism is easily hurt by actions and words of others, takes any form of disagreement as a serious criticism to their self-worth, and responds by devaluing and abusing anyone with an opposing opinion. The term “𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵” is exploited today. It’s thrown around and used to describe anyone who has confidence in their position or themselves. 𝗪𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐦; 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐥; 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡𝐲. Healthy narcissism is relatively impervious to the minor slights and setbacks that we all experience as we go through life. Normal narcissism causes us to love and care for ourselves. It helps us to do things that are in our genuine self-interest, and is associated with authentic self-respect. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬: Someone with narcissistic personality disorder is grandiose (sometimes only in fantasy), lacks empathy, and needs admiration from others, as indicated by five of these characteristics:
A grandiose sense of self-importance and exaggerates achievements and talents.
Dreams of unlimited power, success, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
Lacks empathy for the feelings and needs of others.
Requires excessive admiration.
Believes he or she is special and unique, and can only be understood by, or should associate with other special or of high-status people (or institutions).
Unreasonably expects special, favorable treatment or compliance with his or her wishes.
Exploits and takes advantage of others to achieve personal ends.
Envies others or believes they’re envious of him or her.
Has “an attitude” of arrogance or acts that way.
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