We all have our 𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘴 that can make us a shell of who we really are. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘶𝘴𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘵𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘱𝘩𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢. But also could develop due to cultural/environmental influences.
Hey there 2020. I know you’ve caused a lot of individuals to reach into the escapism bucket.
But check this; bad habits develop over time and 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘢 𝘮𝘪𝘹𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘢𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴. People don’t just decide one day that they have no use, nor care, for their loved ones and commitments. No rational human goes into a souls sucking habit with the intent of never coming back.
𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐞-𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐮𝐦𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬.
No good comes from pretending that the decisions were categorical—like choosing hedonism over ethical ideals. It just creates a false dichotomy that fuels cognitive dissonance instead of healing the mind.
Society at large likes to conveniently ignore the immediate needs and desires of an individual. They tend to focus only on long-term outcomes/consequences, thinking no one would ever rationally choose those outcomes.
Well, no shit.
𝐁𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐦 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞: 𝐇𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭. 𝐈𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐞𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐮𝐩 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡, 𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡, 𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬.
People usually know these choices are taking a toll, and at the time, they’re willing to 𝘱𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘦—because they see it as the best available option. 𝘙𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘮 𝘨𝘰𝘢𝘭𝘴 𝘪𝘧 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘪𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴.
They’re living out their own priorities, which sometimes cumulatively add up to paying a bigger price via their life.
Primarily focusing on some fetishized good behavior now, to achieve future happiness completely ignores that humans are a beautiful union of future desired states—𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘦𝘹𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯.
Finding the happiest option is an extremely nuanced process that cannot be reduced to binary 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 and 𝘣𝘢𝘥 choices in the now.
The best approach here is to understand that undoing years of detrimental decision making processes will not occur immediately. Be patient with yourself, and understand that it’s as easy as no longer seeing value in the behaviors that bring you more pain than pleasure.
Keep working at not reaching for the easiest escape to life. Deal with your shit without running. I know this is 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘴 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 initially.
Reframe what is the happiest option. Do you really want to be a slave to immediate gratification with little reward?
𝗜 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁.
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