• Briana Theroux

What Do Strong Internal Boundaries Look Like?



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Internal boundaries are akin to the picket fence around your house. ๐˜ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฐ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ช๐˜ต ๐˜จ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฐ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฑ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ด ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ต. Boundaries should be flexible, but they also need to be rigid enough to not let others walk all over your lawn without your permission.โฃ

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An internal boundary is a ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ we set with our self, regarding our own values. What we think is right or wrong; correct or incorrect. A lot of people refer to internal boundaries as ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ง-๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ด๐˜ค๐˜ช๐˜ฑ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ ๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ฌ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ฑ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ฃ๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜บ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ ๐˜จ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ถ๐˜ฑ. Oh, if it were that simpleโ€ฆ โฃ

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๐‡๐ž๐ซ๐ž ๐ข๐ฌ ๐š ๐ช๐ฎ๐ข๐œ๐ค ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ฐ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ง๐  ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ž๐ซ๐ง๐š๐ฅ ๐›๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐๐š๐ซ๐ข๐ž๐ฌ ๐ฅ๐จ๐จ๐ค ๐ฅ๐ข๐ค๐ž:โฃ

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  • Views feedback as data, not as a personal attackโฃ


  • Responses instead of reactions to uncomfortable feelings and fearโฃ


  • Believes in oneโ€™s ability to learn from failuresโฃ


  • Doesnโ€™t overreact to annoyancesโฃ


  • Doesnโ€™t ruminate on mistakesโฃ


  • Allows themselves to experience a range of emotionsโฃ


  • Doesnโ€™t hyper-focus on negativityโฃ


  • Maintains personal standards without caving to peer-pressuresโฃ


  • Doesnโ€™t always try to fix other people or their problemsโฃ


  • Says goodbye to toxic people and situationsโฃ

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Developing your boundaries and implementing them with others takes ๐š ๐ฅ๐จ๐ญ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ก๐š๐ซ๐ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ค โ€” it isnโ€™t easy, and it wonโ€™t always be fun, but it is necessary for healthy relationships. โฃ

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Strengthening these boundaries will take constant work due to many of us being conditioned as kidlets to not to uphold our boundaries via our parents disregarding them as we developed. โฃ

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๐˜ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฌ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ, ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜บ ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ถ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ด๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฌ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ด๐˜ข๐˜ช๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏโ€™๐˜ต; ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜บ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ฅ๐˜ฏโ€™๐˜ต ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ท๐˜ฐ๐˜ช๐˜ค๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฑ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ; ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜บ ๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฑ๐˜ต ๐˜บ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ข๐˜ด๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฎ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ฐ๐˜ฑ; ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ข๐˜ด๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฎ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ข ๐˜ค๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜บ ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ถ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ; ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜บ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ฅ๐˜ฏโ€™๐˜ต ๐˜ง๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜จ๐˜ฉ ๐˜ธ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ฉ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ช๐˜ณ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ช๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ. All of these instances conditioned us to not listen to our inner boundaries. โฃ

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In order to start changing our detrimental behaviors, it is necessary to have an ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฏ๐˜ข๐˜ญ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜บ ๐˜ธ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ฉ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ธ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ถ๐˜ด โ€” who often wants immediate gratification/immediate relief from uncomfortable feelings. โฃ

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Strong internal boundaries separate us from behaviors. Meaning what we do is not who we are. You are not a piece of shit for not taking the trash out, you just need better internal boundaries. When we look at events objectively, we can shift behaviors and patterns that are dysfunctional. We then can reach our full potential.โฃ

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We strengthen our boundaries like we strengthen any other muscle. With exercise (๐˜ฑ๐˜ณ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ค๐˜ฆ).


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ยฉ 2018 by BRIANA THEROUX. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.