You Don't Have to Be Perfect to Create Healthy Love
Updated: Apr 1
You don’t have to be perfect to create healthy love. That is a misconception that I was trapped into just a few years ago. I wanted nothing to do with any form of a traditional relationship, for the very reason I didn’t want to drag anyone into my storm of healing. I am a perfectionist by nature, and I wasn’t perfect yet. I still had a few bad habits to iron out. I still had some trauma to deal with. I still had things to learn.
I was being extremely patient with myself while my world shattered around me, but I knew others couldn’t, or wouldn’t be. I could tell with a simple five minute conversation if someone was even able to entertain a real love or if they were just looking for a chess piece in the game of life.
I have no issues admitting when I am wrong, and boy — was I wrong…
What I learned is there are humans out there that are capable of love. Not common but also not obsolete.
Alex has taught me that you don’t have to have every fucking flaw fixed and healed, to deserve to be loved unconditionally. I am a wreck sometimes and don’t deserve anything soft. Yet, he has done nothing but offer me love even when I felt undeserving. This in turn has lead to the upmost compassion with myself — which inevitably lead to a rapid growth and healing of my soul.
What I learned by receiving love I didn’t think was real:
You don’t have to be a finished product to be in a dynamic that is loving, expansive, and ever evolving.
All you need is a willingness to explore yourself and your partner, prioritize awareness, and commit over and over again to your inner healing work.
Both committed to each others growth even if it doesn’t play out how we’ve been indoctrinated and conditioned to believe.
Love is maturity in situations that draw out our deepest insecurities.
Love doesn’t express itself via control.
True love is absolutely unconditional and is extremely rare (almost unheard of in our world).
Love is mutual evolution.
Love isn’t insecure.
Love cannot be misconstrued into meeting needs exclusively.
Both partners will fuck up and what determines success is not shaming the other person and leading with truth.
It is understanding our partners desires aren’t indicative of our worth as a human and thereby allows the space to honor them without perceiving it as an attack on our ego.
Love is understanding that love isn’t earned but cultivated via a deep understanding of each others souls.
What is love to you? Comment over here.