Let’s talk about cognitive biases: CONGRUENCE BIAS The congruence bias describes the tendency to test a specific idea that you have rather than testing alternative ideas. We like to pat ourselves on the back for being “open-minded”, but we simply aren’t without diligent effort to undo these inborn energy saving biases. It’s a form of confirmation bias because you tend to look to confirm pre-existing hypotheses or ideas rather than seeking out the best solution. In other words

You know those times that you feel like throwing your computer out the window because of the nonsense you read on the internet? What about when your kids are refusing to listen to a word you say? That significant other that just can’t see how obtuse they are being? Well friends… those strong emotional reactions have their roots in emotional flooding. I’m not talking about slight annoyances, but rather the overwhelm that causes us to act in an irrational manner. During these e

We’ve all worn masks to hide our true selves. It’s an evolutionary drive to desire belonging to groups and tribes, so it’s perfectly normal to try and “fake it” as a means of earning acceptance by the masses. That’s why many are shocked when someone steps outside of this paradigm and wears their true self exposed. But what exactly is the best option of navigating life? Manipulating others via acting in a way they want you to, or just doing you and letting your life long suppo

Everyone has an ability to “mentalize”, meaning the ability to understand the mental state, of oneself or others, that underlies overt behaviors. When we lose our shit on someone, we lose our metalizing ability, and we start to operate in black-and-white thinking. It’s completely normal, but it greatly impairs your ability to reason and problem-solve. You start thinking that your opinion and subjective experience is a correct interpretation of reality, rather than appreciatin

Keep your eyes on these 5 red flags that your relationship is unhealthy. 1.) Your expectations are different. It’s normal to have differing beliefs in life, but if those differences exist in big issues like religion, politics, or your child’s education, then you’re probably not a good match. These types of differences in beliefs are a recipe for long-term arguments and fights. 2.) Your expectations are ridiculous. You cannot control other people and having such expectations i

What controls your successes and failures? Those with a strong internal locus of control believe that things in their life happen primarily because of their own actions. Those with a strong external locus of control tend to blame or praise external factors for what happens to them. The goal is to start shifting your sense of control to be internal rather than external. Rather than thinking most things are not within your control, that there is nothing you can do about your fu

𝐋𝐞𝐭’𝐬 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬!⁣ ⁣ The way you communicate with people can really 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬 how well your message comes across.⁣ ⁣ One of the biggest issues many people face is they can’t separate their ideas from who they are as a human. So, whenever you challenge someone’s beliefs, they perceive it as an attack against themselves.⁣ ⁣ Religion, diet, and politics are all great examples of this. People attach eth

In order to overcome your self-doubt, you need to do three things: Ask yourself the following questions: What is the cause of the doubt? Are you afraid of failure? Afraid of change? Why are you doubting yourself? Call out your inner critic. The way you feel isn’t reality, it’s a perspective. You have accomplished a lot in your life and you need to remind yourself of those positive aspects of the situation. Push through the doubt and move forward. You never truly fail unless y

Trauma is a 𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩, and we all just wish it would go away. It’s a subject that many of us don’t fully understand which leads to misappropriate labeling and expression of our behaviors. Once we understand what and how it’s impacting our lives, we can start to untangle it from our habits. ⁣ ⁣ Trauma is stored in our implicit memory, or subconscious memory, where it is able to show up in our thoughts and life without us consciously knowing it. This is different from our expl

You probably have impulse control issues. You probably crave all the foods that keep you from your goal body. You probably do things that make you think you have no control. To what extent you do these things… well that varies from person to person. Let’s discuss some of our brain structures and how they play into our uncontrollable desires and our habit formation. As we have evolved, so have our brain structures. We have a little part of our brain called the primitive brain