How To Stop Victimizing Yourself
Let’s talk about self victimization!
It’s timely to bring this topic up because when the world is falling apart, people generally fall into two groups: those that self-victimize and those that take responsibility for their lives.
Most people know what a “victim” is — someone who has been injured, insulted, or cheated. It’s completely normal to acknowledge and feel sad or angry about being a victim. We’ve all been victims of something countless times! The issue is when you live with that chronic mindset. We all have hardships and need to express ourselves to be healthy, but it’s completely unhealthy to always operate in life with the “woe is me” mentality.
In other words, everyone is a victim! Literally every day, you have probably been a victim at least once. But so what.
Let’s overview some ways to help overcome the victim mentality:
1.) Take ownership and responsibility for what happened. Stop blaming others and take accountability. Most of the time, events are two-way streets and you played a role. But even if you truly didn’t contribute to the negative outcome you experienced, stop complaining and use it as a learning experience!
2.) Practice saying no. Stop doing favors for others that you don’t want to do because it will only foster resentment within you. You aren’t the victim, you chose to do something. Learn to say no.
3.) Be aware of where this idea of powerless is coming from. Hint, hint: from within yourself.
4.) Be kind to yourself. Many people operate in a victim mindset without knowing it, and habits are hard to change. So, be gentle with yourself as you begin to change your outlook on life.
5.) Turn your focus away from yourself. Stop focusing on your own perceived pain and start focusing on how things are impacting other people. Show some empathy for them.
6.) Be thankful. The negativity bias keeps us focused on the suffering, but there’s almost always a silver lining. Be grateful for the positive aspects that come from these seemingly negative experiences.
7.) Practice forgiveness. When you operate in a victim mentality, you tend to hold on to grudges and resentment. Just acknowledge that things happen and move on; forgive and forget for your own sake.
We are all victims. Having emotional responses are normal. Some things take longer to get over than others. But stop being a chronic victim, it’s not healthy.
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