It’s completely normal to want to control everything around you. But you can’t. I know that’s a shocker to many of you.
External environments are ever changing and we can either attribute our successes and failures to internal sources or external. Which source you give your locus of control has a huge impact on your quality of life.
The more anxious or depressed a person is, the more external their locus of control reflects. External locus of control has also been implicated in physical illnesses and chronic disease states as seen in the Health Locus of Control model.
The thing is you cannot control external variables no matter how hard you try.
Realizing this is the first step towards adopting healthy control habits and reducing stress when living life in a world outside of your control.
You can’t control how someone perceives you, but you can control how you respond to situations. Yes, you can alter your word choice or body language to try and get a certain perception across, but ultimately you can’t control how others see you and your message. So, focus on your own thoughts and actions and stop worrying about another’s emotional involvement.
You can’t control how others choose to speak, but you can control how you speak to those around you. Stop trying to control other’s word choice, messages, etc. Focus on yourself and your messages.
You can’t control how others act, but you can control your own behaviors. This is really apparent in the dieting world where people try to force diet and nutrition on their significant other. Just stop. Focus on where you put your own energy and effort and stop worrying about others.
You can’t control where others focus their energy, but you can control where you place your own energy.
You can’t control the situations you encounter daily, but you can control how you respond to them. What is the point of getting upset when stuck in a traffic jam? What is accomplished by getting mad at your pet for breaking something when they don’t know any better?
Notice a pattern? Focus your energy inward on the things you can control, not outward on things outside of your control.
Your locus of control has a profound impact on your life, from how you cope with life to your motivation to change maladaptive coping mechanisms.
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